What to Do When You and Your Spouse Need Different Levels of Care

But how do you find such a facility? Consider all your options. Prioritize open communication so you understand exactly what both of you need at any point. Explore staying together in Continuum of Care Communities (CCCs) or assisted living with flexible options (like separate apartments but shared activities). You can also consider in-home care if feasible. And for best results, involve professionals like aging life care managers to find solutions that balance needs, finances, and preferences for maintaining your bond. 

We’ll walk you through some of the steps that should help you and your spouse find the right place for both of you. Let’s get started.

1. Communication & Planning

If you and your spouse have different care needs, you’ll first want to explore options that allow you to stay together in the same community. An assisted living facility for couples that offers multiple levels of care can grant the healthier spouse independence while the other gets care. However, to find that place, you’ll need to start with open communication.

• Talk Openly: Have honest conversations about your wishes, values, and concerns to understand each other's perspectives.
• Gather Facts: Understand each person's needs, such as what activities of daily living (ADLs) they need help with and their medical history, and research available resources.
• Seek Professional Help: Consult a certified elder law attorney for asset protection or an aging life care manager (geriatric care manager) to offer unbiased guidance and solutions. 

2. Stay Together Options

Many couples have been together throughout their adult lives, and the last thing they want to do is separate. Here are a few options that can help you and your spouse remain physically close for as long as possible:

• Continuing Care Retirement Communities (CCRCs/CCCs): These communities offer independent living, assisted living, memory care, and skilled nursing on one campus, allowing couples to move between levels of care without changing communities.
• Assisted Living with Flexible Housing: Many communities, such as Heathwood, offer shared apartments or "split-residence" options where each partner gets personalized care (e.g., one in assisted living, one in independent living) but both live in the same building with shared amenities.
• In-Home Care: If one person needs minimal help, hiring caregivers to come to your home can work, but it can become costly and may not suffice for more intense medical needs. 

3. When Moving Is Necessary

Unfortunately, it may not be possible for you and your spouse to remain together in the home you’ve built for yourselves or the same room in an assisted living facility. But even if a move is necessary, there are many ways to ensure you and your spouse remain connected and that the new place feels like home.

• Personalize Spaces: Bring familiar photos, books, or blankets to create comfort in new surroundings.
• Maintain Connection: Focus on quality time, consistent visits with each other and other loved ones, and shared simple activities (puzzles, movies).
• Encourage Independence: Support the more independent spouse in joining community activities. 

4. Financial Considerations

The average cost of assisted living for a couple is difficult to estimate. Costs vary greatly based on each spouse’s needs. Your existing financial situation will also play a role in figuring out how much you and your family will be expected to pay out of pocket. It’s important to consult with trained professionals to ensure you’re getting the right amount of care and taking advantage of all benefits that you’re entitled to.

• Protect Your Assets: Consult an elder law attorney to understand how to protect assets, especially if one spouse might need Medicaid-funded care in a facility. 
• Consider the Whole Picture: At many facilities, you’ll pay a base rate for the same room. But keep in mind that fees vary for an additional person and their individual needs. Before you settle on one or more assisted living facilities, make sure you know exactly what you’ll be paying to get the care you and your spouse need.

Looking for Assisted Living for a Couple? Consider Heathwood Assisted Living

When you’re evaluating assisted living facilities for couples, the goal is to find a solution that supports both partners' individual needs while preserving the couple's connection. This type of solution is often found in facilities designed for aging in place, like Heathwood Assisted Living.

Heathwood Assisted Living offers assisted living, enhanced assisted living, and special needs assisted living. These three levels allow for spouses to stay at the same facility, even when they each need a different level of care. Our facilities also encourage “aging in place” by offering extra care when needed. We’d be happy to personalize care plans, which can further help couples in transitioning together within the same community.

Heathwood Assisted Living has two campuses in Williamsville and Penfield. We can provide most seniors with just the right amount of care. Contact us to learn more and schedule a tour.